entering a vacant house feeling suicidal
found a 357 without any ammo
so I settled for the bottles of the vicodin
I like this shit better than any of my friends
bring that shit to school with my klonopin
tryna drown all my feelings first thing in the morning
bouncing after first block in the snow I'm freezing
forgot to bring my jacket now I'm sneezing
mellow yellow blunts in the afternoon and evening
I wish I was a stronger man for people to believe in
I'm swervin' every which way, slowly breathing
tripping over everything, now I'm bleeding
I see the same 50 faces everyday
they never have anything new to say
you only die once it could be any day
people wasting time, when they go to church to kneel and pray
fuck a chorus and a hook I got more shit to say
nodding out on the job in the middle of may
my workload's heavy and I'm tryna keep my mind steady
so much pressure on my shoulders, it could break a levee
I want to kiss a cute girl but I'm not ready
too busy sleeping off narcotics like I'm seventy
I'm so friendly to my enemies
because I don't any confrontation in me
looking for a way out, looking for escape routes
I'm sick of always having to be the one to open my mouth
Providing shelter for the drug dealers with my trap house
every drug in large amounts, never had a single drought
these people think I'm genuine, don't know about the state I'm in
I keep a strong poker face, acting like I'm always winning
but I'm just sitting here sinning, looking at these people grinning
nothing but an awkward cotton mouthed social chameleon
with every clique I fit in, I'm internally wincing
with the pain I've been provided since I was eleven
never should've initially gotten turnt up in two thousand and seven
heaven, is where I thought I'd be after graduation
people still in and out of my life like a gas station
condemnation internally eternal damnation
memories I repress them, wishing I could erase them
haunt me every now and then, death's coming I don't know when
too many names to mention have my undivided attention
selling words of imprisonment, to set myself up a pension
I keep myself hungry, only my thirst I am quenching
these words are not wisdom, I just want you to sense what I'm sensing